we could teach our kids to read. Real boring stuff, really. So she cracks one open and starts reading in a monotone. A few minutes later, I’m bored out of my mind.

Then, suddenly, she reaches over and starts jacking me off. Bam! Instant fountain.

“That was great, but how’d you know that was gonna work?” I asked her afterwards.

“Oh, it was easy. Just had to turn you off and on again.”